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  1. Upvote
    HeyImJ0hn reacted to haloman30 in Life is a mystery waiting to be solved.   
    And CU is the solution.
  2. Like
    HeyImJ0hn got a reaction from haloman30 in if you jingle my bells i'll show you a white christmas   
    Not gonna lie, took me 6 days to get the joke
  3. Optimistic
    HeyImJ0hn reacted to haloman30 in So what's everybody's plan for Christmas?   
    masturbating to ur cover photo
  4. Optimistic
  5. Winner
    HeyImJ0hn reacted to esponshadow1 in What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know   
    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
  6. Upvote
    HeyImJ0hn reacted to Baxman in halo's gay   
    We know.